Toys may soon be using Renewable Energy

A patent filed for a toy missile launcher design seeks to eliminate the need for batteries and the like.

What if your child could launch a toy missile into the stratosphere using the power of passing gas? A new toy invention is designed to harness the energy produced by the colonic mixture emanating from your rear end and turn it into rocket fuel.

While the assembly explodes a mixture of air and colonic gas, it is hazard-free, for the explosive is safely confined. This “safe” toy could be showing up on store shelves soon, accompanied by a dizzying array of bad jokes and puns.

View the United States Patent Information – (via BoingBoing.net)

Maddox Spells Out the Alphabet of Manliness

So manly that even its sentences don’t have periods

Maddox and his self proclaimed Best Page in the Universe have been a staple of internet culture for as long as most can remember. Provocative and insightful articles citing the goodwill of humanity combined with his pleasant and personable disposition have made him a favorite personality amongst readers young and old.

As Maddox’s penchant for the truth and insatiable appetite for knowledge increases, the confines of “The Best Page in the Universe” have proven too constrictive. His details of enlightenment have spilled out onto the pages of the new book The Alphabet of Manliness.

Fizzy Fruits For the Whole Family

A new lunchtime snack is on the menu for school children in Oregon, and may soon be available everywhere.

Galen Kaufman, founder of the Fizzy Fruit Company, had a grand idea come upon him accidentally one day while out sailing.

Kaufman bit into a pear that had been stored in a cooler chilled with dry ice, and found the fruit to be fizzy and sweet. He realized that adding carbonation to the fruit, similar to how the dry ice had created carbonation in the fruit, made for a much more delightful snack.

What if Microsoft Re-Packaged the iPod?

Most everyone is familiar with the iPod, a sleek and simple device used by millions, and Apple works to keep it stylistic and simple right down to the box it comes in.

So what if Microsoft had a crack at it? While Apple is well known for their simple, to the point marketing strategy; Microsoft is well known for overcomplicating pretty much everything. With bloated applications, over-zealous branding strategies (can you say SEVEN different flavors of the upcoming Vista operating system), and cluttered packaging; Microsoft sure does work hard to make it hard for us to work.

An excellent video has surfaced, which was actually commissioned and circulated internally by Microsoft themselves, showing a step by step procedure of Microsoft “re-branding” the iPod. This humorous and light-hearted take on Microsoft’s well known flair for overcomplification (yeah, thats a word isnt it?) is a fun look at how sometimes it’s just best to “Keep it simple stupid!”

Tell the Internet to Leave You Alone

Communities and so-called “Social Networks” are sprouting up on the internet everday with the sole purpose of helping you make new friends, keep in touch with old friends, and find people you may have forgotten about.

Services like Friendster and MySpace offer a way to meet people and give away your God given right to seclusion. It’s getting to a point where you can barely open your browser without “finding a friend” or “sharing a special moment with a stranger”. Who wants this kind of hassle? What if you simply want to enjoy an internet technology that links millions of people together in real time, by barricading yourself off in your own little corner and telling every vagrant IP address that comes around to leave you the hell alone.

A new network, Isolatr, does just that. Currently in beta, their tagline “Helping You Find Where Other People Aren’t” is increasingly becoming the battlecry of everyone who wants the internet to be used the way it was intended, to isolate people into an ever increasing hermetic existence.

Wall yourself off from the world now with Isolatr

The Amazing Odor-Eater Lightbulb

If your house is blessed with the scent of body odors and other exciting smells, you may just need to try a new lightbulb?

The OzoneLite light bulb produces light as well as eliminates odors, kills germs, and eliminates allergens. It is your own personal hepa filter in a light socket.

The bulb is flourescent and is able to produce light equivalent to a 100-watt light bulb using only 23-watts. So it is a power saver. But the true benefits of the light lie in its Titanium-Dioxide coating which gives it its odor-eating and germ killing properties.

This bulb is definitely a must for households which seem to have that “special” smell. Unfortunately this bulb is not just a couple of dollars. It will run you $39.95 per bulb. So you might not want to equip the whole with these badboys just yet.

Read the Full Article at LonglifeClub.com

The Incredible Rolling Earthquake House

Big earthquakes can shake a house apart, possibly causing serious injury to it’s occupants.  But one forward thinking inventor has a solution

The Incredible Earthquake House!  His idea is simple, build a round house that has earthquake sensors built into it.  If the Richter sensors signal the big one (earthquake that is), the house is automatically released from it’s tether lines, it’s anchors and it’s utility lines, allowing it to freely roll wherever the shakin’ sends it. 

It’s like Mother Nature’s giant bowling ball.  Don’t worry, the big biosphere has a self righting inner living structure so you always remain upright, even as your house is rolling through the neighborhood. We don’t recommend this for a hillside home, though, as we have some concerns about your house rolling over your neighbors house or maybe even your neighbors, because there aren’t any brakes to stop it!

This is a REAL registered U.S. Patent. (US Patent 5,943,161* / Issued 1995)

Find more real “Absurd Inventions” at TotallyAbsurd.com

“Sync” Your Music with this New iPod

A new special edition iPod challenges you to “Sing, Dance, and Sync”; just like it’s well known spokesperson.

Like no other, iPod Ashlee Simpson Karaoke Edition stands out. Virgin white, it features the new Apple Fast-Forward Click Button and, on the flip side, complete how to use instructions. Available for just $349, it comes with enough money to use a pay phone for calling your daddy, your agent or both, when you get caught lip syncing live on national television.

What’s more, with iPod Karaoke Edition, you enjoy the best auto-sync in the industry *wink*. Just connect iPod to your Mac, PC or a Sony My First Computer, and iTunes takes care of business, keeping both iTunes and iPod in perfect harmony. Harmony? Webster’s says it’s “simultaneous combination of notes in a chord”. Don’t fret, we had to look it up too.

Read the Full Details of this Product

Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups

Surely everyone has seen those inspirational posters you find in malls and office supply stores. You know the type, they have a breathtaking picture with a statement under them that is supposed to motivate you and spur you into either action or a moment of reflection.

Despair, Inc. has turned the tables on the motivational poster industry by creating posters and portraits that are the ultimate in doses of reality. They call them “Demotivators”.

Demotivators serve as a beacon in the dark world of hope, confidence, and motivation. They project the truths and final judgements that true reality can bring to any situation. A couple samplings of these fine prophetic statements…

1. Ambition: The Journey of a Thousand Miles Sometimes Ends Very, Very Badly.
2. Achievement: You Can do Anything you Set Your Mind To When You Have Vision, Determination, and an Endless Supply of Expendable Labor.
3. Idiocy: Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups.

These diamonds in the rough are perfect for any environment; whether it be an office, home, or any random public place. Get your Demotivators posters and calenders now while supplies last.

Visit Despair, Inc. Demotivators Catalog